Lights illuminate the night,
Snow falls from the sky,
Laughter rings in the air,
Shoppers hurry by.
Santa works in his shop,
Elves run around alot,
Frisky feet racing,
making everything right.
Rush off to bed,
shut out the light,
leave out the milk and cookies,
and expect the smiles to be bright.
Christmas morning arrives,
you rush downstairs to see,
curiosity crowds you mind...
What did Santa bring me?
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140,925 Literary Works • 673,751 Reviews
thank you everyone
and thank you Moriah Leila; you were right...that sounds better. I didn't realize it at the time I wrote it. But hey, taking some time away really opens your horizons.
Hey there, I liked this poem, it was very festive! Definitely brings back memories when I was a child and how difficult it was to fall asleep on Christmas Eve.
First of all, how do the elves make the ground hot? Because they are work so hard? Finally, I really did not like the last line, rushing around a lot. It just didn't seem to fit. I think you should just get rid of it.
How do you leave the chimney open? I don't know why, but this line bugged me. Maybe you could talk about setting out milk and cookies, or listening for the sound of Santa coming down the chimney. Something along those lines.
Other than that, good job! Keep writing!
First of all, thank You for such a merry poem on the New Year's Eve!!!
It brings only good memories, the memories of our childhood, the old believes of Santa's existence.... Carry on writing! poems is definitely your niche!
Hi Tiger!
This wasn't bad -- you have a consistent rhyme scheme and it's good to see that you maintained it throughout the poem. I'm not too sure that I enjoyed how short the lines were -- they were good in consistency, but you held the halt and go sort of read, whereas I would have appreciated this a lot more if you had been able to have a steady flow to this that kind of went forward without stopping, you know? Nonetheless, it's nice to read a Christmas poem; good job, keep writing.
June